Testimony - "A moral occupation isn't possible"
| Name: | Anonymous |
| Rank: | First Sergeant |
| Unit: | Nahal, 50th Battalion |
| Location: | Hebron, West Bank |
| Date: | 2010 |
An Israeli soldier provides a testimony to Breaking the Silence explaining why he chose to speak out. "A moral occupation isn't possible. I think that another necessary thing is for people to understand the effects it has on the society in which we live."
Soldier: "The goal in mapping is actually to take some sort of location, some house, and map it from within: How many rooms, which room overlooks what... All the technical details of the house, where the final goal is to create a better understanding of how the Palestinian part of the city looks within the homes, with the aim being that if later there’s a need for a Straw Widow (turning a Palestinian home into an army post), or stuff like that, we'll have the option to do it. I always wondered, like, how much of this material was passed on and how much wasn't, I don't really know what happened with this material, and I know we did quite a bit of mapping. It happens quite a lot."
Interviewer: "When would you do it, throughout the day?"
Soldier: "No, it was almost always at night. Hebron is a densely populated city, and operating during the day is problematic."
Interviewer: "And how did it feel to be in these houses during the mappings?"
Soldier: "It felt disgusting because you're aware that the situation... If during some arrest you can convince yourself that there's added value in what you're doing, and that most of the day you're doing stupid guard duty, but now you're really arresting someone who harms people – which also doesn't make the situation easier when you see the children as you enter the house – but during mappings you feel like you're totally hassling innocent people. I'm sure you can find tons of operational justifications, but the feeling on the ground, at least mine – [and] I believe for any slightly sane soldier [too] – was that it's tiring, it's unpleasant, and
it's not something you'd wish upon anyone. You don't wish it upon yourself, too... But I think that during the remainder of our service it was something we ended up doing a whole lot."
it's not something you'd wish upon anyone. You don't wish it upon yourself, too... But I think that during the remainder of our service it was something we ended up doing a whole lot."
Interviewer: "Why did you want to share your experiences with us, to break the silence?"
Soldier: "First of all, I feel I was never silent, like, this just seemed to be a way to turn up the volume perhaps. I always talked about it with people. I don't know how much I was willing to get down to the details, I don't wait for people who aren't closely familiar with the experience, to comfort themselves by saying that it was something special, or that I'm mentally wounded or something. I'm not shell shocked and I didn't have nightmares at night, but I always talk about it, and it's always something that I don't hide from anyone, including guys who are about to enlist, and I will tell them to go and enlist. Because as far as I'm concerned this garbage is on our lawn, and the solution isn’t to move it to the neighbor's lawn. When I say garbage, I’m referring to the situation, not the people, God forbid. That's it, I saw a really good opportunity to add a voice. I'm a big believer in Breaking the Silence’s goal, which is, as I see it at least, a goal that has a, like... It’s precise. To come and show – not even to say – that a moral occupation isn’t possible. But instead of saying that, simply coming and showing: here, we all are rank and file soldiers, we all experienced it, we all did it, we're all coping with it to this day. Some of us take it harder, and some less, but it's something you sent us to do, so if we continue doing it, come on and answer to that, because you sent us and are continuing to send us there. Whether it's for reserve duty, or our little brothers. And don't ignore it, because in ignoring it – it's amazing how fast you get into civilian life, and get into your job, and you work in education, and it can seem to go away. I'm a political person who takes an interest, reads and watches the news, and can easily not know what's happening in Hebron for two years, without the faintest idea. It’s not... If my friends hadn't been serving there, I wouldn't have heard anything about it. So I'm saying that if it’s so well concealed from my eyes, as a person who's involved in it, I can only guess how easy it is for people to repress it into nonexistentcorners. I think that another necessary thing is for people to understand the effects it has on the society in which we live. That it might be a bit more severe. People should be a bit more open, but a violent society doesn’t come from nowhere. A nation that occupies another nation will be violent. An act of occupation is a violent act. For three years I was taught – let's say a year and a half, one year of which I was in my Mission Chapter (the second year of military service within the Nahal Brigade, devoted to civilian educational work) – a violent, aggressive education, [I was taught] that I'm stronger, I’m holding the weapon. And I'm the law in a sense. I enlisted at an older age, but being the lawat age 20 is difficult, and it easily becomes something corrupting. That’s it, and I think that as many people as possible should know about it. I don't think it’s very helpful for those who have experienced these things. I think it's an eye-opener and very useful for people who didn't experience it and don't really know. And also for those folks who think they know, but look on from the side and feel really sorry – so for once for them to understand that there's nothing to pity, there's... There’s a way to deal with it. That's it."
